Things We Never Got Over

Although the focus in the narrative is Naomi and Knox’s triumphant love story, the novel argues that such love, as powerful and as kinetic as it is for the lovers, is made possible only through the support of friends and community. Both Naomi and Knox are stoic and alone at the beginning of the novel. When Naomi arrives in Knockemout, she knows no one. Her twin sister has already made her a pariah, and as a runaway bride, she has no home and no secure income. Her sister steals her money and her car and leaves her in charge of her young niece, who she did not even know existed. By contrast, Knox is part of the town’s financial well-being and has extensive family roots. Nonetheless, he stays apart and appears content to spend his days with his basset hound, staying emotionally insulated from the town and his family.

What both come to learn, however, is that their coworkers, neighbors, and family are invaluable elements of their emotional life. When Naomi needs a place to stay, advice, or support, she finds it not just in Knox, but in the townspeople, Stef, and her parents. This is an important contrast to her life with Warner, as emotional abuse becomes more effective when the victim is isolated from their support network. Likewise, Knox reconciles with his brother and draws emotional support from his childhood friends, most notably the imposing Lucien. Friendship, then, ensures that the love Naomi and Knox discover flourishes.

At first, some of the Knockemout townspeople are hardly neighborly or supportive. They are, like Waylay’s teacher, judgmental, hard-hearted, and unforgiving. Notably, this is not anti-outsider bias, but lessons the town learned from Tina, who was not a good community member. Before Naomi distinguishes herself from her twin, she feels the town’s chill. But in her jobs at the bar and the library, Naomi makes herself known and integrates herself into the community. She is invited to dinners and backyard picnics. Even before Stef arrives and becomes the wind beneath her wings, she never feels alone.

With everything to risk and nothing to gain, these neighbors provide critical support for Naomi as she adjusts to her new role as an independent woman and Waylay’s guardian. She is never short of advice, money, or encouragement. Knox, despite his prickly personality and his aloof cowboy persona, finds similar support from his community. When the town turns into a posse and heads out to the warehouse to ensure Naomi’s and Waylay’s rescue, both Naomi and Knox see the power of community. As Stef tells her, “[Y]ou’ve got a lot of people who care about you. Maybe it’s time you let them” (353).

We first meet Naomi as a runaway bride. She snuck out of her wedding rehearsal through a bathroom window and hit the road. With little information—only that her sister Tina needs help and some cash—Naomi drives all night to a northern Virginia town where she knows no one except her sister. The novel opens, then, as a road trip, providing a physical journey to symbolize Naomi’s emotional journey. While Knockemout is her physical destination, her journey to self-discovery is only beginning.

Growing up, Naomi always felt compelled to be the good daughter her parents wanted because Tina was not. She did what she was expected to do, excelled in school, and helped her parents. She was even about to marry the man everyone believed was perfect for her despite her unhappiness and his physical abuse. Now 36, newly single and in a new town, she has no idea who she is because she has only been a reflection of what others wanted or needed her to be. Her life has been an endless series of to-do lists to ensure others are happy.

Commencing with her courageous break from her engagement, Naomi begins a journey to authentic self-discovery. The passion she feels for Knox and the absolute commitment she embraces for Waylay define her in ways she never suspected. She taps into the virtue of listening to her own heart and the need she has for others. After she crawls out of the tiny (womblike) bathroom window at her rehearsal dinner, she arrives in Knockemout disheveled and emotionally shattered; she is like a cocoon, preparing to break free of the strictures that have defined her identity. As it turns out, she is a wonderfully complex person, at once sexual and caring, conscientious and creative, reliable and free-spirited. Through caring and standing up for Waylay, embracing her compelling and sexually vibrant relationship with Knox, and integrating herself into town life, Naomi emerges as a self-actualized butterfly.

In the book’s climax, as Naomi is rescued from Hugo in the warehouse, Naomi has an epiphany that completes her journey to self-discovery. Seeing the town work together to rescue her and Waylay, she understands that she is her best self when she has others in her life and is part of a caring community. In accepting Waylay, forgiving her sister, embracing Knox, and welcoming friends and family into her circle of trust, Naomi learns how much she is capable of.